Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Crime of the century

I went into West Brom yesterday afternoon. It was a wonderfully warm and sunny afternoon with hardly motor vehicle in sight and few pedestrians for that matter. To get into the car park near our flag ship arts building THE PUBLIC you have to do a little detour around the side roads. Yesterday I decided to take a “short cut” and go about twenty yards the wrong way past a no entry sign to get into the car park. What I did not know was that the anti Christ were out in force in and around the car park. One traffic warden almost ran over to advise me what I had done. You went the wrong way up a one way street mate. I know I said. Now this floored him. They are used to dealing with confrontation not submissive old blokes. My back was hurting it was really hot and I was having to use my walking stick. Having parked in a disabled bay I was just getting out of the car when he stopped me. After accepting I knew I had committed an offence he felt it his duty to lecture me on my driving. Such phrases as you need to drive more carefully mate and you need to take more care. He then advised me it was a 60 quid fine and 6 points on my licence. I reminded him very politely that as I knew I was committing an offence I had to be driving carefully to do it safely. Again this did not quite register with him and he reminded me again of the penalty for my crime. As the lecture went on I looked at my walking stick and looked at him. The thought crossed my mind that if he did not shut up soon I would deposit my walking stick somewhere the sun don’t shine. Traffic wardens cannot give tickets for this kind of offence so I smiled sweetly, told him if I got a ticket I would happily pay the fine and prepared to leave when he came up with his trump card. It’s the police station over there mate with a camera on the front monitoring you. 60 quid fine and 6 points on the licence. He walked off with a self centred smile on his face. I just wonder if my misdemeanour has been caught on camera and the cops have nothing better to do than monitor the car park entrance. I’ll let you know if they get me. While in West Brom a street fight broke out between two blokes who were really laying into each other. Not a cop in sight. Umm I wonder are they all sitting watching CCTV?


Fat Prophet said...

I think I might have been sorely tempted to use the walking stick and not for walking!!!

Bob the Black Country Brummie said...

quite so Fat Propet I was sorely tempted.