The Daily Moan

My posts these days are a bit like waiting for a bus. You wait forever then two come together. A friend of mine suggested that my blog had some negativity about it these days and having my health in mind suggested that positive thoughts were much better for me than some of the negative stuff I have been writing lately. She asked my wife if she could speak to the editor of the Daily Moan, well honestly, I don’t know what the world is coming to, us wrinkles are supposed to moan, it’s what we do. I’ll do my best to be more upbeat but it is very difficult when every third week your blood numbers come under review and increases in one specific antigen mean bad news. Thank you Gerry for your concern I know it’s my best interests you have in mind. I love the title though I’ve been looking for a new name for the blog. The best I came up with so far was Great Barr Bob or perhaps the Great Barr Groan. Wadaya think?

The patient’s journey

A couple of days ago I was taken to A&E at Sandwell by para medic. This was the result of a “funny turn” a medical term when they can’t establish what caused it. I accidently tried head butting our kitchen floor from a standing position. When they mentioned funny turn I thought I better get on stage quick before it wears off. I digress. I possibly fainted but when I was lying on my side on the floor I noticed the bottom edge of our sink unit and thought, “that is starting to break up”. The misses quick as a flash dials all the nines then her mate from down the road. It wasn’t long before I was on a trolley in A&E then relatively quickly transferred to Medical Assessment Unit where I was kept overnight for observation. It was early hours of the morning when I got a bed so I was very tired. I was awakened very hour with a bright light shining in my eyes followed by blood pressure, pulse, temp ect. I had difficulty getting back to sleep and this routine continued all night. Come the morning I was, well; knackered. I don’t want to go into the gory details except to point out the good bits and unfortunately the bad bits.
The good bits; they did a very thorough job of checking me out. They were straight and honest throughout even when the news was not particularly good.
The not so good bits. In the morning they took away my bed and never found me another. I was there all day with nowhere to lie down. It is essential I stretch out during the day. Although I asked for a bed and told them why they never took me seriously. So by late afternoon I was in pain and really stressed out. I felt abandoned and neglected. It wasn’t until the wife started to make a fuss that action started. The ward does not have adequate washing facilities and I did not have the motivation or strength at that time to shower.
But the worst bit is the food and the way it is served. I can honestly say lunch was the worst meal I have ever had, in fact it was uneatable. I asked for lamb casserole but got some sort of pie which was almost cold. I got my wife to bring in a sandwich when she came in mid afternoon. At tea time no food at all was served. The service was poor. When I asked for toast at breakfast she said something like toast (with a sneer) you must be joking mate, bread and butter or cornflakes or porridge. I watched the porridge served to another patient and decided against it. As for B&B in the mornings when I’m not feeling well is not an option. I thought the hospital trust had been praised recently for the quality of its food. Not on this performance. More needs to be done.
The good news though is I’m now back home bruised and sore but without any more major damage.
Our PCT used to organise a training course call “The Expert Patient” I’m becoming an expert in all the disciplines and all the departments.
Am I really becoming a moaning old git?
Perhaps if someone from the PCT reads this blog they may want to ask the hospital trust some searching questions on this.

Birthday cards

One of the better things about getting old is seeing your grandchildren growing up and turning into proper little people with minds of their own and more importantly senses of humour. This is evident from some of the birthday cards I received this year from them. The best though came from the youngest granddaughter in America. Knowing my dislike of George W and all that he stands for she sent the above card. Inside it read “Err unless unequivocally means don’t”.
The youngest grandson sent a card which played “Hail to the Chief” smart lad.
It’s good to have a president that is articulate and shares many of my core values. I do hope he can eventually win the health care debate over there.

Tick and Take

Or should it be take and tick? As my disease has worsened it has become more complicated to treat and hence the number of drugs required to keep me alive and well has grown. I have drugs to fight the disease and drugs to combat the symptoms and side effects of other drugs.
It can be a very complex situation. Some require to be taken in the morning some with food some at night. I have drugs that fight the disease but keep me awake. I have a drug should I need it to put me to sleep. One drug that is leading the fight at the moment makes me feel sick and of course a drug to counteract the sickness and so it goes on.
I have developed a monthly chart which I fill in daily when I take the pills and to some extent it works quite well. The wife has a weekly pill box which she tops up every Sunday evening and complains to me that I should do the same. I will admit that my system is not perfect; I miss a couple now and then but her pill box isn’t perfect either. When we were in the states a couple of years back I attended a Seniors Convention where of course all the local drug companies were present with a multitude of drug dispensers. I wasn’t taking any drugs then so not so bothered.
Would it be possible for a pharmacy to come up with a system that contained all the drugs needed and dispensed in such a way that only the drugs for that time and that day were available to take with a warning signal if missed?
Development costs would be high I suspect but sales would be enormous and I suggest safety in operation would be of untold benefit to the sick and save the NHS a lot of money. I like the idea of saving rather than what now seems to be the popular line from all political parties of savage cuts. Mustn’t go there or this post will turn into a rant but more on that later perhaps after Browns speech.

Mouth wash

“BOB, BOB” the wife is yelling at me from the bathroom upstairs. After being married for the time we have I can tell from the urgency in her voice that something may be wrong. I don’t do rush upstairs anymore in fact I have one pace for getting upstairs which is very slow. I’m huffing and puffing to get there when the yells are repeated. I’m beginning to think this might perhaps be something serious. The ceilings collapsed (I’d have heard that) the worlds ending (unlikely) a spider in the bath (more likely). I’m an out of breath but concerned hubby when I finally get to the bathroom. After the usual formalities of a concerned husband I discover she has taken a mouthful of muscle soak instead of Listerine. I quickly establish she hasn’t swallowed any and fighting back the laughter I suggest she “wash her mouth out”. No harm was done but it could have been a very serious accident. On the labels of a lot of products it says keep out of the reach of children. Perhaps they should add and pensioners.
After this event I was reminded of a friend of mine who a couple of years ago had Haemorrhoids (piles to you and me) he had been using toilet wet wipes to do the clean up job. Unknown to him his wife had left a packet of the larger stronger version in the spot where the toilet wipes were. He unwittingly used one. These things are great for cleaning the loo and associated area but not for those tender parts of the human anatomy. I know it’s cruel but when he was explaining his discomfort we had to force back our smiles.
I read a report recently that claimed that swearing helped you cope with pain. I’ve had plenty of experience with pain and as such I’ve taken the reports findings into account and am known these days to cuss occasionally. So it is usually the wife who is telling me to “wash your mouth out” “Oh b******s”.

“Retirement is the place to be” (or is it?)

Since I started writing poetry I have been asked from time to time to write a poem to celebrate somebody’s retirement. I never gave much thought to how the outcome of these poems was affected by my feelings at the time. No one as yet complained and I have to say some of them have been pretty good. Nothing like a bit of self praise now and again.
A close relative as reached that time in life when she is ready to chuck away the chalk and close the classroom door for the last time.
My wife makes excellent creative cards (available at a modest cost via BBCB) which she did for this event but there was no verse inside, so I wrote one. This little rhyme though does reflect a lot about how I feel about retirement these days and is not the usual Bon Amie associated with retiring. I just wonder if any of you feel it is in bad taste before I send it. :-

“Retirement is the place to be” (or is it?)

From the daily hustle and bustle you’re now free,
the worlds you’re oyster and there’s lots to see.
Feet up and slippers and no more stress,
it’s hobbies and interests you need to address.
Stay in bed when it’s wet and cold,
that’s one good thing about getting old.
You don’t have to rush for train and bus,
life’s a leisurely pace without the fuss.
A pension and bus pass are waiting for you,
then off to the hospital and wait in a queue.
You’ll need a new hip and maybe a knee,
the rest of your treatment we’ll just wait to see.
Instead of the hustle for bus and train,
life starts to go quickly down the drain.
Enjoy your retirement, give it your best,
remember in truth it’s the penultimate test.
There’s one other thing I forgot to mention,
watch out for Gordon he’ll steal your pension!

I went for a lie down

I should keep my big mouth shut (yesss! I can hear half of Sandwell Council cheer from the rooftops) about feeling well. The following day after my swim attempt disease/drugs caught up with me and just about wiped out my day. Everything I attempted ended with me asleep in a chair or in bed. I even fell asleep watching the Williams sisters.
Happy to be able to report today I’m back to normal if I know what that status is nowadays.

I’ll go for a swim.

Woke up one morning feeling fine. This is unusual for me. I pinched myself a couple of times just to make sure I wasn’t dead. No I was alive and totally pain free. I lay in bed for a few minutes to savour the moment then down stairs for a cuppa.
My oncologist has been suggesting I should take more exercise so I decide a morning swim is possible today. I haven’t swum since before my diagnosis because to be honest although I was an extremely good swimmer and a qualified advanced teacher I never felt confident enough to get back in the pool. I persuaded my wife to come along to act as my minder and off we set to Wednesbury baths where I know they have a disabled group.
When we arrive we are flagged down by three pretty young ladies who advise us they have a power cut at the pool and the pool is closed.
One of the most contentious issues in West Brom is that although we are the biggest town in Sandwell we do not have a swimming pool and from what I can see are never likely to get one. We considered our options all of which required a lengthy drive. We gave up on the swim.
Free swimming in West Brom under the government’s new rules would appear to be bit of a farce for us senior Sandwellians. Birmingham has a pool which is not to far from me which I’ll try next time I have the urge but surely Sandwell have a duty to provide these facilities.

Urinal bottle.

The one thing about this blog it is never boring, is it?
The wife is getting a bit embarrassed by my little problem with my water works. So am I, I suppose, but can’t help it. As you all know the problem is exacerbated by larger stores who no longer have toilet facilities and the almost total lack of public facilities in Sandwell. Must tackle my councillors on that next time I see them.
So what to do? Well, she bought me a present of a Urinal bottle via the internet with instructions I keep it in my car. The neck of this bottle is big enough to accommodate an elephant with an erection so I should have no problems if it should ever be needed. I’m not so sure about the liquid security of the lid though.
The depths some people will go to write a story. There must be a lot of puns associated with this topic. Like, getting peed off, bottling it up, take a bottle home (that was great old ad). The Bagdad blogger made his name reporting on conditions in a war torn country and here’s me reporting on urinal availability in a bankrupt country. Until the next time I need to spend an unplanned penny. Have nice day.
I blame the drugs.

Very pretty garden

The wife and I have always enjoyed our garden. We have over the years tended it with loads of TLC and although I say so myself it is a very pretty place and none more so than this time of year when the spring flowers are showing and many of the shrubs are starting to flower or in bud. The sun came out at the week end and subsequently I couldn’t resist getting out into the garden. Trouble is I can’t do what I used to do. I suppose I worry that it will deteriorate and I can’t cut the grass and all those other little jobs that make it such a special place for us. Last week end I decided the grass was due for its first cut. Trouble was that my legs weren’t working as well as they should. Plan a) cut in small amounts with plenty of rests. Plan b) leave the front for the following day. What we have decided is, to do a little, do it often, so that it never gets out of control. I’m delighted to be able to report that we did it and trimmed the lawn edges, did a little weeding and tidied up some of the winter wear and tear. In the evening I was completely knackered but the garden is a delight to see. I’m not giving up on my garden until it’s impossible for me and I’m not getting any help with it either. Later in the year though I might just feel that help is needed. Biggest problem was the bit the council are supposed to cut which we have adopted and looked after over the years that bit might be the first casualty. My neighbours are good and have offered to help with this patch.
I’m reminded of the old Master Card ads:-
Planning and preparation: time consuming
Cutting the grass: slow and painful
The results: Priceless

Blue badge parking.

A couple of months ago I was advised that I should apply for a blue badge for disabled parking. I never considered myself to fit into this category but after some persuasion from the wife I applied. A couple of weeks later my badge arrives. I’m thinking things must be worse than I think but anyway I now have the option of parking in designated disabled bays and other places unavailable to the general public. I’ve tried to use the badge responsibly. On my good days I park as normal and don’t use the badge on bad days though I’m really happy to use it. It has made a tremendous difference to my life and what I can now do. What I have become acutely aware of though is the number of people who park in disabled bays without displaying badges. I recently went to a major supermarket that has a whole line of bays that are not supervised. All the bays were full and I had to park some distance away and walk along the disabled line, I noticed three vehicles parked without badges. They were all large 4x4 or SUVs BMWs or the like. I was having a bad day so felt a little miffed at their thoughtless behaviour. I suppose owners of these vehicles have difficulty parking in the small spaces we have at supermarkets but surely they must realise the difficulty they may be causing some disabled person. I’ve since monitored parking in an adoc way but pretty much always it’s a vehicle of that ilk. I wonder how long before I take one of them to task over parking?
What is a little more difficult to get used to though is the walking stick which is now a permanent companion in my car and a very well used piece of kit. This getting old ain’t a lot of fun.

Andy Person update

Handy man scheme II.
Well what I thought was a good scheme is not turning out quite so good. After my registration for the little job I needed doing I sorta waited and expected a visit to fix my door. After about a week I enquired and was told Oh no luv, there is usually a three months waiting list for this service. Oh dear I said (perhaps a little stronger than that but you get the idea) I can’t shut my door (it’s inside so no security concerns). I then get typed back into the computer and told we’ll try and get to you some time next week.
It strikes me this is a good idea which is under funded and they work on a priority basis. So a door that wont fit because of a new carpet is never going to be a priority is it. Ummm, first able bodied mate visiting looks like getting the job. Can’t help feeling though that perhaps the scheme needs a little rethink on how it’s administered and sold to those of us who qualify and need it. Thank you Alan, my door is now fixed. I better put in a call to them and cancel the handy man.

300 not out.

Yes folks I can hardly believe it. 300 posts and still going strong. So to celebrate something a little lighter if you’ll pardon the pun.
Light shades.
Last week end the misses smashed one of the shades on a twin wall light. Never mind, I said accidents happen and I was very magnanimous about it. I deny clumsy sod ever came into my comments.
Monday morning, I said we’ll pop along to that big lighting shop in Erdington and get a replacement. Oh silly me. Sorry mate said the lady we don’t do shades like that anymore, nobody does, upstairs is where all our shades are. No lift so I’m struggling to get up the stairs. After a while I realise she’s right, so, back down stairs for a little conference. The shop is devoid of customers except for us, the management and staff is only really concerned about cleaning; a customer actually wanting to talk to them about a product is a bit of drag on a Monday morning. I ask to get samples of all the products around a particular size and in due course I’m brought about ten items. I quickly work out a compromise which the wife is delighted with. I’ll have two of those shades and a couple of economy candle bulbs please I ask. Oh I can’t sell you those says the lady they are part of a lamp set. With a shop full of customers and doing roaring business I could perhaps understand this but as things were, quite frankly, she was potty and why had she brought that shade for me to see in the first place?. A simple change to one of the other shades would have done the trick. But no she would not flog me the shades.
We decide to visit Homebase in Oldbury and surprise surprise the exact same shade is available there except no economy candle bulbs. At the check out I need the loo. With my condition when you gorra pee you gorra pee. Sorry luv says the girl on the till we don’t have toilet facilities anymore because people vandalised them. But I gorra pee I insisted again and I’m platting my legs because it is getting uncomfortable, no movement or sympathy for the customer. We purchase the shades and make a quick dash across the road to Save a Centre where we know they have toilet facilities. I eventually get the bulbs and the light fixed. The misses is very happy with the result. Moral here is I won’t be using Homebase Oldbury for a long time, and as for the Erdinton shop well I won’t be surprised to hear it’s going bust and it won’t be as a result of the recession but their own stupid fault. Glad I got that off my chest.

My hats now got a new badge. I don't suppose it's going to make a bit of difference but the present rules on public loos do seem to discriminate against us oldies.

Andy Person

Politically correct again. we used to call them handy men, well I need one. I’ve posted before on some of the problems encountered as you get older. When ill health adds its contribution to the equation, life can be very difficult at times. Normally I would deal with any DIY issues around the house. Not a problem for me, fix a door, mend a fence fix the washing machine etc. Nowadays these activities are getting more difficult and on occasion not an option. Very frustrating when you know you could and should do it. Have to accept help and I’ve got a lot of mates who do just that when required. Recently though I discovered we have a Handy Person scheme in Sandwell which is designed to help folks like me. I’m now registered with this service and although there are limitations on tasks they can do it does seem a useful scheme. I am going to test it next week when they are coming to fix an internal door for me which will not open properly after our new carpet was fitted. I’ve looked at this door all week and pondered how I might do it myself. The misses has given me the warning, attempt it at your peril, don’t even think about it message. So I guess it’s the handy man (or lass) who are going to do it. The service is also free (with some restrictions) to us older residents. I think this is another well done Sandwell, they have been listening.
I better go have a lie down this praise for my local council is getting to be monotonous they are going to start thinking I’ve lost it.

PENSIONS FALL UNDER LABOUR

A book published recently claimed that the true value of the old age pension had fallen by almost a half in the last thirty years and that the largest fall had occurred under this Labour government. I’m not surprised by this statement having campaigned against their policies since the 75p affair. I know that there as been a growth in private schemes during that time but all the evidence now points to them being inadequate to meet future demands. Except for the public sector which we has tax payers meet. The government had a commitment to re-introduce the wage index linking in I think 2012 but in the meantime pensions will continue to fall behind. We now have no guarantee that anything will be done because the way they have squandered our wealth we can never be treated fairly. The thinking that it’s OK to bail out a bank but not a pension fund demonstrates their arrogance against the sector of society that created the wealth after the wars pulled itself up by its boot straps and built a better society. Shame on Brown and Co who has so under valued our age group. We deserve better.

Victim support.

Or in our case victim relief. My wife reminded me the other day how difficult things had been for us over the last few weeks and how much better it was that we could start to do things for ourselves again. Things that we had always taken for granted had become very difficult or impossible over that period. Changing a light bulb that required the removal of a light cover was totally out of the question. Small lifting and carrying jobs had become difficult as getting around was somewhat curtailed. I always used to smile at my Mum when I visited because she always left these chores until the last minute when I was leaving to ask me to do. I never minded of course but we always joked about it. Recently we have been doing the same thing. Any friends or family who came to visit ended up with a job. We tried to make sure they knew on arrival what we had in mind and for the most part it worked quite well. We called them the victims. You find out who your friends are when this happens and we have plenty.
A couple of week ends ago we wanted to erect a new Tit nesting box in the garden and I was determined I was going to do it. Getting on a small step ladder was a non starter so I ended up on a make shift step with the misses propping me up whilst I nailed this box to the shed. Time to do it all morning! Satisfaction rating, very high! Interest from the birds? Nil so far.

Hell Plates

I was feeling a little below par yesterday and the legs were just a bit wobbly so I decided it might be a good opportunity to try out the new chair. We were going to meet my brother and his wife at a garden centre and I knew that the area was flat and there would be propulsive help if required. In terms of manoeuvrability I did really well. The speed over car park was slow and rather hard going but once in the store I quickly got the hang of it. I mentioned in an earlier post how people ignored my wife when she was in her chair and low and behold it happened to me today. I was trying on carpet slippers (pensioners wear these things out) when I asked if they had a particular style in a size not on the rack. The assistant ignored me spoke to my wife who was standing behind me, went to fetch what she had, gave them to the misses and left as though I had some sort of communicable disease. I’m thinking “hello there, the legs might be a bit dodgy today but there’s nothing wrong with my brain”. I never bought any. It was bit of a gamble with some of the isles because they have not carefully thought out whether a wheel chair could get around the store and it took quite a bit of manoeuvring to get around. I never hit anything or anybody for that matter but I think I’m going to have to get a horn or bell fitted because people just don’t see wheel chairs. I might get myself a cap with a slogan which says something like “I’m in a chair but I’m still human, please don’t ignore me” That needs a bit of work.
Using a chair was not fun and something I’ll only be doing as a very last resort.

Bob’ new chair

A friend loaned me a wheel chair, just in case this wretched disease gets any worse and I need more assistance. The chair needed a bit of a spruce up and I decided to add my own touch of creativity by introducing an advertising feature on the side panels. I haven’t yet needed to use it but it will make, I guess, for a bit of interest if I ever need to. I can remember some years ago my wife was wheel chair bound for about 6 months and I did most of the pushing. Interesting how people perceived her in the chair. Almost always they addressed me and completely ignored her. We made the best of it and I had a great wheeze when shopping because I would hurry her past items I didn’t want to view. She soon caught on to that. I was extremely please when the chair was abandoned. It did wonders for my fitness though. I can remember pushing her up the hill form our house to the doctor. When we got there I was so out of breath I needed the treatment more than she did. I soon recovered and got used to the task, it was never a chore for me.
Note the advertising feature. Anybody wanting to advertise I’ll do some really competitive rates.

What to spend my sixty quid on?

As you all know dear Gordon gave us pensioners a New Year bonus of sixty quid apiece to boost the economy and help us out during these hard time. A one off sixty don’t cut it for me but better than nowt I suppose. The wife who has become quite a talented artist since retiring decided she wanted a new executive swivel chair and some art materials. She wants to be comfortable when she paints. I wonder if her style will change. That blew her bonus and to some extent boosted our local economy. The question is what am I going to do with mine? Gordon would have us go borrow (if we can get credit) add to the bonus and go enjoy. To me that is bonkers economics at this time. I think I might take off a jumper tweak the gas up a degree or two and put it towards the gas and lecky bills because it don’t look as though we are going to get any relief from the energy companies despite the wholesale price of gas falling. On the plus side though petrol is coming down but sadly I’m not using the car much these days.

Letters

The letters columns are always a good read in our local evening paper. Usually you will get one or more pensioners bemoaning our lot but last week one evening we had three excellent letters on issues that concern pensioners.
Headline PICKING ON PENSIONERS, WRONG CONCLUSION ON VETERAN DRIVERS and DON’T PAY INTO PENSION.
Although I do not necessarily agree with all the sentiments raised much of it I empathise with.
“Picking on pensioners” related to the major differences between public and private sector schemes and how much worse of private sector pensioners are. The writer made the point that the average public sector pension this year was £17091 whereas the private sector weighed in with a miserable £1086.
All of the schemes covered by the PPF were of course private sector schemes which were dismal by any standards but with inflation this scheme is now being steadily eroded. Will any of the political parties take this on board? Well not so far but surely someone in government must realise how badly these people are being affected. Well done to the union reps who negotiated the inflation proof deals for public sector but sooner or later these anomalies must be sorted out.
The piece on veteran drivers makes the point that most of us have been driving quite safely for perhaps forty plus years and because we are retired we take our time in getting to where we want to go. The government however now seem hell bent on getting us off the road just because we have reached a certain age. I have felt for some time that this was one of the worst ageist governments of all time and this attack on pensioners is just another in the continued war against pensioners. If we still have our faculties are fit and able to drive safely what indeed as age got to do with it. We as kids when we passed our tests saw the driving licence as a privilege and did not abuse it by going out driving to fast and crashing our cars. Most of us knew that if we did that we would not get another. The majority of us have displayed a responsible attitude to car ownership and driving for our forty plus years behind the wheel. I will know when it is time to give up and I’ll make that decision I don’t need to be wet nursed by our government to get me off the road. I think if they pursue this policy along with the other miserable decisions they have made towards pensioners it will be the final straw for many older traditional labour voters myself included.
Finally “don’t pay into a pension” is relevant to those private sector schemes that do not pay much but take the recipient above the threshold for pension credit. Because of the advantages of getting council tax, dental and optical benefits denied the rest of us.
Many more pensioners are becoming more vocal on issues that affect us. I think this is a good thing. It is particularly sad that most labour politicians think they are doing a wonderful job in respect to us. Sadly the Tories and Lib Dems are of similar mind.
Perhaps it’s time to launch the “Grey Party”

O got my sixty quid today, thanks Gord