Friday, 8 August 2008

I need a joke

In my earlier post , Oh what will he do, (25/7/2008) I talked about writing a play for International Older Peoples day 1st Oct. Well rehearsals are going very well and the characters are settling into their parts and learning their lines. As part of one section to lighten the mood one character tells a joke. I had a joke had in mind and for the first few rehearsals it was very funny but now it falls rather flat. For our filming performance or performances I have warned the cast that I want to change the joke so that only the story teller knows it. It has to be funny so that it gets a belly laugh or at least a good grown from the rest of the cast in that scene. My email network is also being asked to forward suitable material. It can be smutty, political, topical but not down right rude I although a bit of innuendo would do no harm. I’ll publish the chosen jokes. To get you started this is what we are currently using:-
“Did you hear the joke about Dolly Parton & the Queen dying on the same day and waiting to get into heaven? Trouble was there was only one place left that day.
St Peter says to Dolly give me a good reason why you should come in. Dolly shows him her boobs and says a perfect pair. St. Peter then asks her Majesty the same question. The queen takes a tissue from her hand bag wipes her nose goes over to the heavenly loo and flushes it down. “Come in” says St. Peter and “sorry Dolly”. Dolly protests strongly. Well St. Peter explains a Royal Flush beats a Pair in any game no matter how big they are”


Anonymous said...

A joke I heard at the W.I. dinner
last night.
A teenage girl goes to stay with her grandma in scotland, the first night she is going out to find some night life,she puts on a see through top with out a bra. on,
her grandma says "you cant go out like that hen" the girl says " you have to move with times grandma
and I have to show off my rose buds "
The next morning the girl comes down to breakfast and her
grandma is sitting their stripped to the waist, " what are you doing grandma" said the girl," Well hen " said the grandma, " I have to show off my spaniels ears."


Bob the Black Country Brummie said...

The first of many I hope of the jokes have arrived:-
From Cllr. Bob Piper one of my regular readers
This joke seems appropriate:
There's an old fellah in a nursing home, about to celebrate his 100th birthday. His son and daughter plan a surprise for him... a strippergram. So, they look in the yellow pages, find the Agency... Super Sex Strippergrams, and book the stripper.

On the day, she arrives, starkers apart from thigh-length leather boots, and a big fur coat. "What do you actually do?" asks the son.

"I just go up to him, throw off the coat and shout out the name of the agency" she replies. "Where is he?"

They point to the poor old devil, slumped over, three quarters asleep in his armchair. "I don't know what I can do for him" she says, "but let's give it ago. At least everyone will have a laugh."

So... she strides across the room, taps the old soul on the shoulder, throws off her coat, and booms out the name of the agency.... "SUPER SEX!"

Slowly, he looks up and mutters.... "I'll have the soup!"

Boom, boom.

Bob the Black Country Brummie said...

Joke No3
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with wind, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've passed wind at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was because they don't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now I am still passing wind a lot, and although they are still silent, I'm afraid they smell terribly."

The doctor says, "Good!!! That's your sinuses sorted out, let's work on your hearing!"


Cllr. Bob Piper