Jokes the best and worst so far

The best:-
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom; 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.... OH, MY GOD!' Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!' A passenger in Coach yelled, 'That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!'

The worst:-
I say I say I say have your heard about the MP who didn’t fiddle his expenses
No I haven’t heard about the MP who didn’t fiddle his expenses
No neither have I, they haven’t found one yet.
Boom Boom

Keep em coming I have a few weeks before decision time and this is fun.